bullet points

* I am tired. Very tired. I need sleep. It's only 9:30, sigh.

* We are no longer at Trinity - I have not shared my emotions about that. That is not like me.

* I've endured gossip, lies, and guilt trips over the past few months. I have still kept silent. Again - not like me.

* I want to talk about it. I can't bring myself to. I was asked not to by someone I respect a great deal and so I've not dealt with it verbally. This I have come to realize also means I have not dealt with it emotionally.

* Saying goodbye didn't happen. I thought that was okay. I missed saying goodbye to the one person I really wanted to talk to. I've now realized that's okay.

* I'm going through a plethora of emotions now that I've allowed myself to feel.

* The biggest hurt is the dissapointment. Not with myself.

* The gossip didn't affect me like before. This time I let it roll off. That has been freeing.

* I truly now realize how much I just don't care what others think of our leaving.

* I never really grieved the loss emotionally. I think that is how it was meant to be.

* A huge weight lifted once the final decision was made. It was followed by a cloud of unspoken, unfelt, emotion.

* I vented in my prayer time the other day. That's what woke me up to the clutter within.

* I need to get it all out. I refuse to do that publiclly. The gossip against me was done publiclly. By those I'd thought were better than that. They are the ones who dissapointed me.

* Not sure why/what I'm sharing here. Just trying to unclog the webs...