Monday, December 31, 2007

david

Please keep him in your prayers. His fever has gone up and down all day long. It seems to want to stay at 105. He's keeping the tylenol down which is great, but he's not taking the dimetapp. Poor guy has a horrible gag reflex and just won't take anything he doesn't like the taste of. So he's thrown it up twice tonight. He's sleeping now so I'm praying his little body will rest from all this fever nonsense. Please pray with me that he will have a restful night and wake up feeling better in the morning. His fever was so high this morning that even his little eyes were red. I hate that he's having to suffer.

Lord please watch over my baby boy. Give him the rest he needs and calm this fever that doesn't seem to want to leave him. It hurts so badly to see him suffering and to know that my efforts have been fruitless. I want him well. I want him over this fever and arguing with his brother again. Please help him Lord. Take the fever away from him and give him peace from it. Let him sleep peacefully and wake up feeling better. And calm my nerves please Father. I'm a wreck. I hate seeing him like this and feeling so helpless. It is so draining of my strength and patience. Help us both to stay strong and fight this virus. And help us both get through this night. Sweet Lord... I am at your feet. Pleading.

emergency room first

Well, this morning we reached a new first with David. He woke up around 2:30 this morning with a 102 fever. So I gave him tylenol and he laid on the couch and slept again. All is good, I went back to bed. That was until 9:30 this morning. Biggest boy woke up with a temp of 105.6. Total freak out. Clothes were flying, dad was getting cold rags, I was running for more tylenol and water, and David was miserably slumped on my bed. So after about 15 min of no temp change, I in my pj's and David in his slippers drove to the ER. Thank goodness my mom is more level headed than me. I called her right before we left the house and of course began bawling almost immediately. (bawling is apparently a nervous tick of mine these days). So mom came and met me at the ER and stayed with us the whole time. At the ER they gave him some motrin that had his fever down in about 2 hours. He was giggling and laughing and having himself a good old time by the time the Dr. finally made it in. He has a virus. Didn't even need a prescription. Talk about relief. He's had high fevers before, but never that high. So we got some instructions about how much and why kind of OTC medications to give him and were sent on our way. Now I know I could feel like an idiot for rushing to the ER like that, but all I feel is gratefullness. When I saw that temp on the thermometer I panicked. Doctor's have always told us that anything over 105 is B-A-D bad, and this was well over. I am so thankful that he wasn't terribly sick with the flu or phneumonia or anything like that. Today I am thankful for a virus which will eventually get us all sick. Am I crazy? Maybe. But at least my baby isn't dealing with anything too serious! Thank you Lord for keeping David safe from all the germs that seem to be floating around wherever we go. And thank you for letting my mom come with us and keep me calm. And thank you Lord for the insurance that we have for the boys, I don't what we'd do without it.

So for the first trip to the ER for both David and I, I think we get an A+. And some McD's! And we'll be sending up some praise for this virus. Just a virus. Nothing else. Praise the Lord!

Friday, December 28, 2007

turning 6

Well it's happened. The boy turned 6 Wednesday. Where did the time go? 6 years have flown by. I have seen him grow from my sweet sweet baby into my amazing boy. Bittersweetness is what I feel looking at him now. He is growing up, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. There are so many moments I wish I could have stopped time for. He changed my life. I know most people sometimes just say that to say it, but in my case it is true. He not only changed it, he saved it. I look back and can't believe some of the circumstances I was in before he came into my life. I have to give all the glory to God for sending me this angel. I would have never known Christ had this boy not interrupted my life. I would have been a totally different person right now. Someone that I now would never have even recognized. But God knew even when I didn't that it was time. Time for me to become His, time for my life to radically change, time for me to become what God wanted me to become. I know it's a lot to put on the birth of a child, but if you had known me before David, you would know as I do that this kid changed every part of my life. There was nothing untouched. God used that moment in my life to shake me to my core and bring me to my knees. And now this boy is 6.

6 years of learning and being taught by this boy.

6 amazing years of loving on this boy, even after he started pulling away from hugs and kisses.

6 years of hearing "kiss and a hug!" being chanted from his room at bedtime.

6 years of seeing those amazing blue eyes light up.

6 years of wiping away "boo-boo" tears.

6 years of seeing his smile light up my world.

6 years of being his mommy.

6 years of tucking him in at night.

6 years of re-tucking him in after he's pulled off all his blankets.

6 years of searching high and low for "tenny-bear".

6 years of finding Tenny right where he should be - under the pillow.

There have been so many ups and downs these past 6 years. Our family has gone through so many things. But David is always constant. Always there to hug or hold. Always there to hold my hand. Always there to give a smile or tell a funny joke. Always there to brighten up any day with just the twinkle in his eyes. He is an amazing son. My heart is over filled with the joy he brings me each day. I love this boy with everything in me. And there are not enough thank you's on the earth to express my gratitude to God for this amazing miracle. I can not imagine my life without him.

Happy Birthday my biggest boy.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas!!!

Well folks we are gearing up, loading up, and getting excited! We're off to my parents house for my mothers birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!!!, and we'll be busy busy with family and joy until after Christmas. So I wanted to stop and take some time before we leave to tell you all Merry Christmas. I can not even begin to explain the blessings God has given me through each of my blogging friends. You have all meant the world to me. You are always so encouraging and so sweet, and always lift my spirits. I get such joy from reading your comments, and your blogs! I think you are all amazing and unique women whom God has blessed greatly. Thank you all for being a part of my "blog life" and for being an even bigger part of my real life! I carry you each with me every day in prayer.


So Merry Christmas my sweet friends. I hope you all have a tremendously blessed Holiday and are filled not only with great food, but also with the love of God and the fruits of the Holy Spirit. My wish for you all is that you would have more fun than you can imagine and be filled with more love than your heart can hold!


Merry Christmas!!!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

special prayer request

If you get on tonight and read this, please spare some time praying for my friend "E". His story is not mine to share, but he needs some lifting up tonight. He is facing something a young man his age should not have to face right now.

Thank you friends for praying for him.

Sweet Father... You know what is going on and You know what is on the hearts of those involved. Although I don't understand why my friend is going through this, I know You do. Please reach down tonight and comfort him. Please hold him and let him know you are with him. And when it gets tough, let him know You are there to fall on. Comfort him, Lord, in the way that only You can.

Amen.

oh those kids

I am head over hills for my kids in choir. They are awesome. We've been working now for about 14 weeks on our Christmas program and this past Sunday was the big day. Well night, but you get the picture. We presented "Bows of Holly" and they did amazing! I was SO proud of them! Right up until the last few practices I was really worried. We'd added some last minute script changes and had some interesting choreography, so the kids were a bit shaky and I was more than a bit nervous. But then Friday rolled around and we had the best practice we've had the entire semester! And our dress rehearsal, while still a bit flawed, went great! But Sunday night... oh man. Those kids worked their little hearts out and put on one of the best shows! It was so darn cute! Yes we still had some mishaps (mics not working, kids not wanting to be center stage, one scene so forgotten you'd think we hadn't worked on a million times!) but over all, it was wonderful! The audience laughed when they were supposed to, applauded every song, and one scene! It was wonderful! I can't say enough how proud I am of those kids. :)

Two things in particular stuck out to me and were my absolute favorite unscripted moments.

1. My child who a year ago would not sing or do motions or even smile, sang SO loud he was almost the only child you could hear in a few songs. (every time I cupped my ear, he SANG out). I later asked him why he was singing so loud and (get your tissue out...) he told me, "so God could hear me". Yeah. He's amazing. :) And he got a solo in this program and that boy did his part to the beat and word for word. He could not have made me prouder. I even had to shake the tears away while directing.

2. One of the little girls in our choir had a meltdown. And I mean melt DOWN. She's 4 and really really cute, but was a bit hard to manage Sunday night. She didn't really "get" what we were doing, and wasn't all that into the dancing and singing. BUT her favorite part of the show was the song with the flashlights (yeah, awesome part!). Only... her flashlight didn't work. (we discovered later it was because she wasn't turning it on right, oh well) So meltdown #1. She walks over to my mom who is hovered behind a short wall on the side of the stage. Mom gets the light working. Then she gets back to where she is supposed to stand and lo and behold, there is a rotten boy on HER tape and he WON'T move. Meltdown #2. By this time everyone is looking at her, people are wondering what on EARTH happened to this sweet little girl, and kids lose all interest in singing or doing motions. Sigh. I have to snap loudly to get their focus back. :) Luckily for all of us, this was towards the end. So we do one more scene and song and we're doing our bows. We get through all the main characters and are about to do a final bow with all the choir kids and out comes the little girl, straight to the center of the stage, head up and with shoulders back, she throws one hand to her waist and gracefully bows for all to see! And oh my goodness, the auditorium erupts with applause and laughter, and "miss thang" saunters off and gets in her spot. And yes, it was that dramatic! LOL! It was quiet possibly one of the cutest things I have ever seen a kid do. But it better not happen net time!!! LOL!

Anyway, we have had such a wonderful semester! All the kids had their parts memorized, things went so smoothly! (aside from a few) :) And we even got done in the 40 minutes that the script called for. Yay! If you are reading this and had a part in helping with this program - Thank you SO much for all your hard work! I could not do it without you! And Mom and Dad - y'all were the backbone of this entire program. You have blessed me so much with your willingness to help and your heart for the kids. I don't even think I can fully express how grateful I am that y'all volunteered to help me. You are the best parents a girl could ask for!

Thank you everyone who supported and encouraged us and thank you parents for letting your child be a part of our Kids 4 Christ Choir. See you in the spring!!!

Monday, December 10, 2007

casting crowns- if we are the body

Debra's post a few days got me thinking about this song. You can find her blog using the link on the side of my page.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

can't explain it...

So this week I've been letting God speak to my heart. Straight to it. Not holding Him back, not closing off pieces of me, just letting Him in. Som interesting revelations about my life and my future have become clear. Decisions set in stone. While there are still unknown variables, the decision is made. Somehow I was wanting more though. I'm the kind of person that needs good old affirmation once a decision has been made. I need to KNOW it's right. And in this case, I need to know firmly that I am following God. I believe I got that sign today. I volunteer in the nursery every 2nd Sunday. This morning we had us an overflow of babies. Nine babies ya'll. NINE. Anyway, one in particular has an amazing story. It is not mine to share but I can say this, God is all over that baby girl. This was my first week to be with her and as soon as I held her something inside me broke. That is the only way I can describe the amazing emotion that washed over me. I began to cry, and am crying again now. My heart broke and I was instantly in love with this sweet child. God broke down the wall of my fear of not being able to fully love a child that is not my own. Through this sweet child God confirmed in me my decision. While some may think it's unrealistic or just a plain terrible choice, I choose to follow God. I choose to claim His affirmation, and I choose to fully open my heart. We will be researching adoption. I know from where we will adopt, but what I am unsure of is how to get started. If you can help us learn more please send information to scott.rector@att.net If you would like to pray for us, I would most certainly appreciate it. I strongly believe in the power of prayer and I am so ecouraged and stregthened by your prayers. All I can say is that God stirred me deeply this morning, and from that there is no going back. My very soul has been hit and I can not adequately tell you the emotions racing through me. It is both amazing and terrifying. It is awesome.

Friday, December 7, 2007

some of my favorite pics

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Matt Redman - The Heart Of Worship

this is how I feel this morning... I just want to get back to simply worshipping my Father. Taking everything else out of it, laying everything aside, and just worship Him...

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

make a difference

Please go to my sweet friend Bev's blog and see what God would have you do. Blessing any child on Chistmas is a gift from Heaven. I hope you'll have a part in it.

Monday, December 3, 2007

gifts for the family - updated with pics

So each year we struggle with what to get extended family for Christmas. There are many in our family which means many gifts. And even though we love them very much, it can get costly at the holidays. So we try to find items that we know they will appreciate that also show them we care. This year I'm trying something new. I have taken a few really great photos of the boys and am dabbling in framing/matting my favorite shots. So when hanging these beauties around my house, the idea hit me. What if the extended family got something like this for Christmas?? Giving pictures of our kids is kinda cheesy, I know, but these are black & whites that are matted and framed and look really nice. (I think). This is where you all, my sweet blogging friends come into the equation. I need your opinion. Being a grandmother/cousin/or brother/sister in-law, would you enjoy getting something like this?

Updated with pics: some will be in 8x10 frames, others will be in 5x7 frames. What do ya'll think?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Click to play Season's Best from Dano
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{scrapping} blog

Well with some prompting I have created a scrapbooking blog. Just something where I'll share my latest project and tips that I used to make it easier. So check it out, save it to your favs, leave me some love. :) I hope you enjoy it! Click here to visit the page. I hope you like it!

Friday, November 30, 2007

if you have facebook....

You need to read this story about a scam going on. And please know that I will never ask you for password to any of you online accounts. If you ever get an e-mail like that from me - do not respond and do not ever send your password through e-mail. As secure as people say they are, nothing is totally secure when sent through e-mail.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

i did it!!!!

I finally made my own wreath! I have some wooden Christmas ornaments that I just love. Unfortunately this year we didn't have room for them on the tree. (left out the 2 bottom rows of branches to thwart the cats climbing up) So I wanted to figure out something else to do with my cute cute ornaments. While I didn't use them all, I was able to use 3 of my Santa's to make my own wreath. It was SO simple, MUCH easier than I thought! I used a small grapevine wreath as the base, got some silk flowers on sale at Hobby Lobby, and got some really pretty glittery wired ribbon, also on sale. Yay! I really wanted a bow out of the ribbon but again, I have never made one so I was a bit intimidated. That is until I came across this site. Talk about easy cheesy!!! Props to Meghan for making it look so darn easy! So in about 5 minutes I had my bow made and ribbon wrapped, and about 10 minutes later I had my wreath done! It's now adorning my door and looking too cute for words! Here are a few pics of my first ever handmade Christmas wreath!

Monday, November 26, 2007

and on thursday the Lord said...

Let there be.... SNOW!!!! Oh yeah baby! Snow! And LOTS of it! What a thrilling Thanksgiving! We left town Tuesday afternoon and headed to my parents house. Only about 20 miles away, but just enough in the country to make me feel like we'd gone on a trip. We spent the few short days talking and laughing, and having a really good time! The boys were so stinkin happy to spend some time with Nana and Poppy, and after being so sick these past few weeks I was thrilled that they got to spend time with Nana and Poppy. :) It really was a geat time. Mom and I spent most of Wednesday cooking. It was so much fun spending all that time with her in the kitchen. And of course everything we made came out perfect! It was wonderful! We heated everything up Thursday morning and had an amazing lunch of turkey, moms dressin, potatoe salad, jello (for the boys), pumpkin pie, pink salad, and rolls. Oh man... it was wonderful! And then, as if all that weren't enough, God poured on the snow! And I mean POURED it ON! We got 4 inches of snow. In fact it snowed so much that I wasn't able to drive back in and see hub's family that evening. We were actually snowed in! (It was actually alternating between sleet and snow, so didn't make for good driving conditions.) So mom and I spent Thursday evening putthing up her Christmas tree and reminiscing over all the old ornaments. I had to confiscate a few of the older decorations and bring them home to put in my house. I like to think of it as saving them. :) So we got to stay another night and lemme tell ya, nothing would have made my boys happier! But I was finally able to come home on Friday and on Saturday I made our little family an after-Thanksgiving dinner that was almost as good as the first!

Fast forward to Sunday. The weather man said we were supposed to have snow Sunday morning, and lots of it. Anywhere from 4-10 inches. Well, sadly no snow. We went to church and enjoyed listening to Thanksgiving stories, and were so blessed by the sermon. Pastor really did a great job yesterday. Then we get ready to leave church and what do you know... it's raining. Not too much. So we swing through the drive thru and head home. Not 45 minutes after we get home, the rain had turned to sleet, which in turn had switched to snow! Yep, more snow! We got a good 4 hours of it and it managed to stick after a bit so we got about 2 inches here. Of course it's all melted my now, but it sure was pretty last night! All of the schools started late which gave us plenty of time to take our time getting ready this morning and enjoy the last little bit of holiday break. It has been wonderful. God is so good friends. To give us all this in the course of a week... man does He LOVE us or what! I feel so full of love and gratitude. My heart is just bursting with love for my Jesus. What an awesome, beautiful, incredibly blessed week I've been given! I think I'm gonna go sing some more praises to my Abba. Before I do, I'll leave you with some photos of our sweet Thanksgiving gift from above. Enjoy!

this is from the snow on Sunday

this is our Thanksgiving snow

and now for a few fun shots:

this is Dano in his new winter hat

and here are a few shots of our Christmas tree and some of my favorite ornaments. (our tree is usualy done in red, white, and blue. Enjoy!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Colbie Caillat - Bubbly ( With lyrics)

this is the song "bubbly". Enjoy. Then go hug your man! :)

Friday, November 16, 2007

yep, I'm {going} there

Okay friends... I'm going there. Thanksgiving is just a few days away, and I wanna know what you're thankful for! What has God given you that you want to send up some praise for?

I am thankful for His grace. My salvation. My family. My two amazing boys. God's word, even if sometimes I may not quiet get what it says... I'm not sure where I'd be without His book. I'm thankful for being pulled out of some enormous pits. Being forgiven and being able to forgive. Having friends that truly know me for who God made me to be. And I know this is a weird one, but I am truly thankful for the song "bubbly" by Colbie Caillat. Everytime I hear it I want to sit in the breeze and daydream...

Your turn, what are you thankful for? How can I praise God with you?

Monday, November 12, 2007

sickness.sets.in

and it is not fun. If you think about us please pray for us. Both of my boys and myself are sick. Daniel not so bad, but super whiny. David is running fever, coughing, sniffing, itchin' eyes... not good. Me... I have lots of drainage, no voice (but glory to my Abba, He still hears my praise!), and have the same coughing, sniffing, mess as David. Scott? Not sick at all. Darn cold! Anyway, I can't get the boys in to see the Dr. until tomorrow morning. Apparently this crud is making the rounds. In David's class alone 4 children are out sick today. :( So if you think about us, please pray for us.

Thank you friends and Siestas. I love you all more than you know!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Eagles Wings

a little something to sweeten your weekend... Come live in me, come breathe in my, sweet Jesus....

what's that buzzzin?

It's me! I've been as busy as a bee these days! And have a cold to prove it. My goodness. Things went from relatively calm to over-drive in a matter of hours I think. We had a big meeting on Sunday that helped kick things along though. I'm so excited for this new program our church is going to do! I don't wanna spill to much so I won't, but lemme tell ya... most posts in January just might thrill ya'll to death! I'm going to be one busy gal for the next few months with church, but that's allright! You know how when you're excited for a new job, the mountain of work doesn't seem so daunting? I'm at that point right now. However, I know when we get knee deep in it, I'll need some prayer. So pray me up now girls! :) I can not wait to see how this team that God has assembled carries out His work. And glory to Him that He chose me to be on it! I'm actually feeling quiet confident where normally I would feel inadequately chosen. I know that my God will give me what I need to complete the task He gave me, and I think that might excite me more than anything else. How exciting that He's chosen me to help in this task! I'm ready Lord! Let's ride!

Other than that excitement for the week, as usual when God gives you something amazing satan swoops in to steal your joy and discourage you. So we're doing some spiritual battle with him. Praying him off of certain people he's found it thrilling to attack relentlessly. In my family he's chosen to attack our health. Our allergies are getting to us now. I have little voice left and my sweet babies have runny noses and scratchy throats. He's also decided to make my husband less available to me by messing things up at his work so that he has to work longer and more hours. I guess it puts feet to the phrase, "you know you're in God's will when satan won't let up". We are in God's will, and WE won't be letting up. I'm tired of seeing satan win small victories in my life and the life of my friends and Sistah's. I'm fed up. It's time to get back in his face and tell him to MOVE out of the way! He as no business here and he knows it. It's almost sad to see satan scramble so, but then I am reminded that he chose this life for himself. He may have lost the war already, but let's choose to also take small victories away from him! Feel like being a little short with your husband or kids? Wanna gossip just a tad? Want to fall back into a sinful pattern or stronghold in your life? Fight ladies! Don't let satan smile! He wants nothing more than for us to step away from our Jesus, even if just for a moment, and sin. The more small victories he can build up in our lives, the further away from Christ he can pull us. I for one, and tired of him winning. I am revved up and ready to do battle. Who's with me?

Monday, October 29, 2007

are you good at math?

*** Update: the puzzle is not solvable. Somewhere in translation it got left out that we needed a 0 in it. It can't be solved using 1 - 9 only. Sigh.***
I have a puzzle that is driving me crazy, see if you can help...


You can only use the number 1 - 9, no repeats. Remember multiplication comes before adding and subtracting. Here goes:


we danced. in church.

To the glory of God ya'll, tonight we danced! This will be a short post as it's 12:30 a.m. here but oh my goodness I have to tell you the joy my sweet God gave me tonight. Let me pause here and say, please read my earlier post! You'll catch the fever that is pure joy. Tonight we danced. Moonwalked. Lawnmowered (oh ya'll should have seen that!). Shook our booties to the beat of the Holy Spirit! I mean it. We danced and delighted in it! I even managed to get some of our more "conservative" folks to dance! Wanna know why?? Tonight at Judgement House we witnessed.... *drumroll inserted here* 18 (eighteen, ya'll!) people come to know Christ as their savior. Eighteen more new brothers and sisters in Christ were welcomed into the flock tonight. I was a giggling, smiling, bubbling, crazy woman by the time the night was over and I had to stop and dance a little with the PAH-TAY I knew was taking place in Heaven. Oh my goodness. It was so awesome! A couple of people laughed at me, but I told them... "if you can't give God some awesome praise for 18 salvations, something is wrong!" So we all did a little bootie-shakin' for Jesus tonight! Even got one guy to do the lawnmower with me. My Pastor may now think I'm certifiable, but my God just loved it! 18 souls saved in 3 hours. God is GOOD!

I'm still smiling. Still crying. Still loving on my Jesus. Oh the awesome joy He brings us. Brings me. I am so madly, deeply, over the moon for this guy.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

special time of year

This is a special time of year for me. And despite my current situation (see previous post) God has been so good to me and given me so many things to praise Him over. One in particular I wanted to share with you. Each year our church does a program called Judgement House. If you want to know more about it click here. For the past 3 years I've been a guide. Taking groups from room to room, introducing each scene. And I have loved doing it! It's been amazing. But this year, something stirred in me to not sign up to be a guide. So I didn't sign up to work. Everyone kept asking me and I kept making excuses. Finally the Spirit inside me had had enough. He put His almight foot down and said, "young lady, you will help!". I didn't know where or how, they'd allready filled most of the spaces. Then in class Sunday morning our leader said he needed one LADY (yeah, God is cute that way!) to help in the closing room. To help counsel any women that might want to stay behind and talk. Sigh. Got me. But I've always thought the closing room was boring, not really for me. I'm too high-strung to be in there. It's serious time. Quiet, elevator music flows while a nice, calm, person talks about and delivers the gospel message one final time. Stick me in there and I'd stick out like a sore thumb with my loud mouth, bubbly personality, and constant need to chat. :) But stick me in there God did. To be honest I think I scared them. They didn't really know what to do with my chatting and giggling style. But I kept them laughing ya'll. And in a good way. They had fun with me. And to God's glory, I got to stand in that room group after group and watch as 17 people turned their lives over to Christ and were saved. It is the best feeling in the world to see those hands go up. To sit quietly and pray that each and every one of them be touched in someway by the hand of God, and then witness their hands come up, almost reaching out for salvation.... it gives me chill bumps. I can't even describe the joy my heart was filled with by the end of the night. Yes I was tired. Yes I had to haul sleeping boys to the van. Yes it had been a long night. But none of that matters. Even if it had only been one hand raised the entire night, folks, it would have been SO worth all that other junk. But to get to witness as God lovingly placed His Spirit into 17 new creations.... I just can't explain it. It was the most awesome thing.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

eventually london bridge came down

That's how I feel this week. Trapped. You know when you're kids and you play London Bridge and you trap someone between your arms when the bridge comes down? I used to hate that. I hated feeling trapped. I always wanted to be the one that snuck by, skated through, just before the bridge came down. Oh how I hated getting stuck. I still can't bring myself to play the game with my boys. I can't stand being stuck. No where to go. Arms pinned. Can't move. It still gets to me. But right now, I'm stuck. The bridge fell on me, and I can't move. I have something weighing heavy on me. So heavy it leaves me tired and dragging each day. I feel it when I wake, when I sleep (IF I sleep)... I feel it all the time. I know satan is upon me. Attacking my every step. Coming down on my so hard at times it's hard to breath. I spent a good 20 minutes bawling in the car the other morning because I just didn't know what else to do. Why am I sharing this? I have no idea. Probably not a wise choice. I just feel a huge urge to reach out. I need some prayer. I mean, serious prayer. Knees to the floor kind of prayer. I know I'm not one to tell you how to pray. I just know when I have a sister who's down like this, my knees hit the floor. So that's what I'm asking for. Deep prayer to pull me out of this state that I'm in. I can't stand feeling the way I feel. I just wanna break out of the arms that are pinning me down. No amount of struggling works. These arms are sealed tight. I keep begging God to make it easier. Make my choice easier Lord! But I know this is something He doesn't want to be easy. It's hard on purpose. And I think I dislike that even more. Why do I have to go through this? I feel like I might burst. I want out. I want out from under this pressure. Free from this weight. Break me free Daddy! Get me out. I know I can't take much more. But I also know I'm not done until you say. Give me strength Lord. Strength to get to my feet and fight. To get away from what's trapping me. I know Your will is perfect. Give me strength to understand that. Give me peace when I rest. Quiet my mind and calm my nerves. Let me rest Father, and wake up ready to fight. I love you Lord. Whatever You have for me, I will do it for You.

Monday, October 22, 2007

my weekend in photos

So we had a very busy weekend! (and stressful, but it's getting better) Friday night we had a fall festival at David's school. Didn't get to take pics cause I worked the cake walk. The other ladies working it with me decided it would be fun to have the kids dance for cakes.... Sigh. I'm sorry girls. I had to do it. The "Macarena" came on. I'm so glad my child wasn't watching. I might have scared him. I scared myself. But I had a great time doing it! The on Saturday I took the boys to Boo at the Zoo. We had a great time! The line was insane but didn't take too long and once inside we had a blast! The boys got to see all the zoo animals and hit up almost every candy booth. They came home with halfway filled buckets of candy! (good loot too!) :) And then on Sunday David's class at church won a picnic for reciting the most Bible verses, and so we went after church to the park for hot dogs and swings. It was a great time despite the 90 mph winds we Texans are so fond of. Sigh. Big hair and Texas really DO go hand in hand. Okay, so here are some pics from our fun fun weekend!

praise the Lord I can finally have two Spidermen!

and here they are taking a candy break...


this is David (right) at the picnic with his friend Jeb (left)


and this is my favorite photo of the weekend. this is Daniel playing on the playground Sunday afternoon. I'm not sure why I like it so much. maybe the angle or all the clean lines... can't quite put my finger on it, but I love it.

Friday, October 19, 2007

the spider cake lives!

I did it folks! I managed to make the spider cake! It does not look exactly like the picture and I'm okay with that. But it did turn out darn cute! David was so excited he asked if we could keep it home so he could eat it. :) I made 2 of them, both will be headed to the cake walk later today, and then home with new owners. I may cry to see them go. Haha! Just teasing. Those little suckers took me an hour each, but I think they are worth it. Here are a few pics of my creations. :)

this is cake #1:

here are the "baby spiders" made from spiced gum drops and icing:

this is cake #2:

Thursday, October 18, 2007

what's doin'??

Okay, so it's not Wednesday but what the heck, let's do "What's Doin' Wednesday" today. Share some thoughts about what God is doing in your life this week.

God is giving me some amazing insight into his word. I can not express how blessed I am through BSF. The women are so nice, my son practically leaps out of the van when we pull up to the church, and I get to meet God each Wednesday. Not the god I want Him to be, or the god I've perceived Him to be, but God. The one and only God. My Father, Savior, Friend, Redeemer.... I get to meet with Him each day in my homework and each week in lecture time. Sometimes I feel so close I can hear Him breath and I get chills. It's awesome! So what God is doing with me this week, is teaching me how to have a one-on-one encounter with Him amongst a room full of amazing gals. He meets me where I'm at and then sits with me. It's awesome.

Your turn! What's God doin' in your life this week??

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

the lofty goal of an amteur baker

Okay. I have a goal. It's a big one. David's very first school organized Fall Festival, of which I'm on the PTA planning team for (very dutiful parent might I add, LOL!), is this Friday. I happen to love cake walks. Don't love being in them, but love baking for them. I love baking period. Okay, so here is my goal. I want to make a cake I've never tried before. I got this idea from our local H.E.B. stores latest "Showtime" ad. It's a spider cake. If you've gotten the ad, you know what I'm talking about. If not, you can view it here. Now, although my cake won't look quite that neat, it will still be cool. I've gotten some Hostess Ding Dongs for the spider body, Mini Milky Way bars for the head, black licorice for the legs, and gum drops for the smaller spiders. It will be green, will have a black web, and will have lots of little spiders on the sides. :) My lofty goal is that I will make 2 of these beauties along with 10 miniture pumpkin cakes, iced and made to look like real pumpkins, complete with stem an all. Whew. I'm tired just typing all that out! So pray for me gals! I've baked all the cakes allready and have frozen them, (little side note - freezing a cake before icing them makes the icing process MUCH easier!), and will do all the decorating and icing all day Friday. The festival is Friday night. David is so excited it's all he talks about. I am having to make him his own cake here at the house because he wants one of my cakes "sooooooooo bad!" he says. :) Way to make a momma feel good baby! :) I'll post pics when I get them all iced and pretty!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

This is Our God

this just might be my new favorite song. Take refuge in your Father. He wants to be your comfortor.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

the boy did good

Ah yes, my son the star! David will be receiving a really neat award at school tomorrow. He had been given the "Star Student" award and there will be a ceremony and reception tomorrow at school. Each six-weeks teachers pick one student who has been a "star" student for the entire six-weeks. They'll have an assembly and announce the students one by one and read a short letter that each recipients teacher has written about them. Then they'll get their award and have cookies and kool-aid after all the awards are handed out. I can't wait! I've allready got my camera ready with fresh batteries, and have an extra set tucked away just in case. Maybe a little over-zealous you might say, but hey, I'm durn proud of my kiddo ya'll! He's been so excited about school and loves getting to go each day. He loves his teacher, his class, his friends, loves it all. Well except the lunches, but who among us hasn't hated cafeteria food at one point. :) I am so stinkin proud of my boy! I'll be sure to post pics of his award moment tomorrow afternoon! They may be a little shaky, I'm a bawl-bag at stuff like this. LOL!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

the mind reels

Oh folks. Can I just tell you how awesome Wednesdays are for me? I wake up around 5:30 a.m. because I'm so excited to get my day going. BSF is the biggest blessing of my week. I can't believe God lets me go! It's the best Bible study I think I may have ever done. Please don't take offense to that. It's just that God knew exactly when I'd be prepared for this. He knew the absolute perfect time in my life for me to begin BSF and now I'm salavating each week with what I will learn and what the lecture will be like. The lecture... oh the lecture! I think it's safe to say that if I could stalk these girls and soak up every bit of their Biblical knowledge without getting weird looks, I would. They are so stinkin' smart! I'm like a kid in the candy store during lecture time. I know they must think I'm a HUGE nerd! I scribble and scribble away so much that my wrist hurts because I'm taking so many notes. I carry away so much from them my mind reels to catch up with everything I've just taken in. It's been absolutely amazing! I'm in love. I love everything about how BSF works and the content of the homework is awesome. I don't think I have to tell you how much I love the lectures, but I will. :) I LOVE them! I just keep thinking about how lucky I am to get to sit in with all these amazing, smart, women and I get to learn from them. It's so exciting to see what jewel God has for me each day. And it's there, as promised, waiting to be dug out. Somedays are harder than others to find it, but the thrill of the hunt is there! I am having the time of my life. It's been so neat to take in each part of Jesus' early life and drink it in bit by bit. And then turning it around and applying it to my life today... Ya'll there's no joking when you hear the phrase "Living Bible". Each and every part of the Bible has some meaning to today. Even if it's just something that happened to put today in motion 300 years ago, it's got an impact on today. I think the most amazing thing I'm learning is that what happened 2000 years ago, God meant for me to learn about and apply today. It's just so cool! There's no way my mind would have been able to handle all this a few years back. God is amazing ya'll. Simply amazing. I'll be sharing more thoughts as the week goes on. And if you've never heard of BSF please check out www.bsfinternational.org and find a host church in your area. You will absolutely love it! I encourage everyone to at least try it. You'll learn so much more about the Bible, God, Jesus, and yourself than you ever thought you would. I thought I knew the Bible pretty well. Not as well as some, but not as little as others. In doing this study I've realized I really didn't know much at all! I know the "blanket" stories, but haven't ever really gotten to the meat of most of them. BSF takes you there, and then some sometimes! Look it up, check it out. You won't regret it!

Lord I'm in awe of your work in me this past month. It's been a rollercoaster to say the least, but one I'm happy to ride on any time! It's so exciting to open your word each day now. Our time together is what I look forward to each morning. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see what you've got for me. Thank you for the amazing women you have put in place at BSF. Thank you for their dedication, knowledge, and care for each participant. And thank you for the wonderful woman you sent to tell me about it. I am blessed to be able to go with two amazing friends and sit among such great women. I'm even starting to enjoy the hymns! Thank you thank you thank you Lord! My desire is to know you and become more like you. I hunger for your word each day, and can't wait for tomorrow!

Oh girls. Somebody shout an Amen with me!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

couple of thoughts

I finished up this weeks BSF homework just now and I'm mulling over a few scriptures that I read. I just love when the Lord does that to me! So I've placed them on notecards and will meditate on them over the next few days. But I want some of your thoughts on one set of scriptures in particular. The passage is from Luke 1:13-15. It says:

But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah, your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and a delight to you and many will rejoice because of his birth. For he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from birth."

What struck me as odd was that this passage was filled with the joy of a new birth, a long awaited son that Zechariah thought might not ever come. (he was gettin up there ya'll) And then mysteriously the sentence, "he is never to take wine or other fermented drink", was added in. Why warn Zechariah of that? Look at what follows, "and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from birth". So here are my thoughts, take them for what they're worth. :) I think that God warned Zechariah that John was never to drink wine, because it would inhibit the work that the Holy Spirit would do through John. There are many things in our life that de-rail us from walking the path God has for us. Be it alchohol, drugs, addictions, even gossip. Anything that would take the place of what God wants us to do, could be our "fermented drink". I think God warned for John to not partake in the wine because John had an amazing job to do. John was part of God's plan for the life of Jesus. John's ministry would be instrumental in the carrying out of God's will for Jesus' life. Therefore John could not be inhibited by anything. Basically the boy had to have a clear head in order to do what God wanted him to do. (that's Texas talk ya'll). I like that God got right down to it. Laid it out and said, don't let him do that because he's got ME in him. (emphasis mine) Makes me think of the dumb things I do that I know are not in God's purpose for my life. What "fermented drinks" have I put between myself and following God's direction? Is there something, even one small thing, that I have allowed myself to partake in that would muddy up the communication line from God's lips to my heart?

Lord how I pray that you would show me what keeps me from doing what you have planned for me to do. Show it and remove it, Lord. I don't want anything, big or small, to stand between me and the awesome plan you have for my life. I don't want the "fermented drink, I want You! Help me each day to stand up and make the choice for you and not creature comforts. Take those things I put before myself to stumble on and toss them aside. Whatever cup you have for me, I want to drink it in.

Monday, October 8, 2007

what is it about Trinity?

Our church recently purchased a really nice bus and sadly vandals decided to make it their latest victim. You can click on the link below to see the story, just scroll down to the video with "vandals" in the title.

http://bigcountryhomepage.com/content/news

The bus was purchased this summer. They have estimated over $30,000 in damages. It's almost unbelievable. Our church was broken into and electronics were stolen back in the spring, and now our nice, new bus has been torn apart like this. It just doesn't make sense. I think when things like this happen it must mean satan knows something big for the kingdom is about to happen. I don't it's any coincidence that right when we're preparing for 2 of our largest outreach ministries of the year, something like this comes along. And it makes me sad for the people that did this. Sad that they had nothing better to do. And sad that they don't realize that there is something so much better in the world for them. They can be and do so much more. So tonight I'm choosing to pray for them rather than be upset or angry. It's heartbreaking that something like this has happened again to our church, but when something like this happens you can either let satan win and be angry, or you can love these people like Jesus and pray that one day their eyes be opened to the all-encompassing love of Jesus. Please pray for our church and for the vandals that did this. They need some love from God.

ps - the man you see on the video is our Pastor, Kevin Kennedy.

fall festival

Well here it is. My favorite time of the year for our church. Don't get me wrong, we do some fun things, all of which I love. But October... oh man. October. Just saying the word gets me excited. I get to witness first hand the love of God on our church an community. It's the neatest thing to watch and be a part of! Each year I have been in charge of getting donations for our Fall Festival. Sometimes it is a little challenging, but in the end people come through and we end up with fantastic prizes! It always blows my mind the people God sets up to help support this endevour. But then... oh then. To get to see the faces on the kids whose names get drawn! That makes it all worth it! Some of them run and stand right in front of the microphone towards the end of the night because they know we draw until we see a hand shoot up. It's the coolest gift God gives me! At the same time, our teens (who have allready been hard at work) put on Judgement House. If you've never been to one, you must. It's amazing. Our teens have worked hard year after year, sacrificing a lot of their time to evangelize to our community. Watching it all come together and being able to be a part of it... I can't even explain the blessings that come from it. And then to hear the final salvation tally... Girls, it's enough to make you swoon. So yes, October is my favorite month. It's when our church comes together to help each other minister to and serve our community in two very unique ways. And all for the purpose of reaching out and showing others the love of Jesus. Can you smell the harvest? I can. And it smells amazing!

Friday, October 5, 2007

please pray

Please pray for one of my best friends and cousin, Annette. She recently had a miscarriage due to some complications. This was her first pregnancy.

Thank you girls, I know there will be some serious prayers going up from you all. It means more than you know.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

water water everywhere

Okay, can I just tell ya'll how proud I am of my kids?? All 20 of them. Yep, that's right, on Wednesday nights I have 20 kids. I direct the Kids 4 Christ choir at our church and it's become so much more of a priviledge than it ever was a job. I can't believe I get to do this every week!

So here's why I'm so proud of them. We're doing a Christmas program about a little girl who started a food and toy drive for the needy in their town. So with that in mind, we're doing our own food drive to benefit our local food bank, which will in turn help the needy in our community. The kids were super jazzed about it when we announced it on the first night. So our first mini-contest was a 3 week bottled water drive. I am so stinkin proud of those kiddos! They managed to bring in 300(!!!!) bottles of water! They did great! So Scott and I will be dropping the water off today and then we'll get a certificate mailed to the church saying how much was donated, which we will of course frame and hang for the kids to see. :) So the next thing we are doing is a peanut butter drive. I expect LOTS of PB to come our way! The best part about all this though is seeing the kids get so excited about giving to others in need. They're thrilled to get to bring in something each week and it's a HUGE blessing to me to get to see their faces light up with excitement over what the next drive will be. I think I just may have the best kids in the world!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

what's doin?

I'm going to try to start a new "column" on my blog. It's called "What's Doin Wednesday's". Please feel free to post anything that God is doing in your life. I think it's very important for us to seek Him out each day. To find that hidden treasure He has for us in each little set of 24 hours. It's there. We may have to dig, but when we find it, it's worth it! So what's He doing in your life today?

For me, today God has given me peace over a broken relationship. Yesterday I experienced the most awesome gift of forgiveness and healing. Second only to the reconcilliation of my sister and I. It was a relationship that I definatly had an equal hand in souring. Sometimes WAY more than my share of damaging. The friendship went caput in a hurry due to gossip and grudges, of which I definatly carried my share. Over one tiny incident, and the gossip gates opening wide, I let my opinion of this woman get tainted which opened the flood gates for satan to come in and have a field day at the expense of a new and fun friendship. And so spanned years of resentment, gossip, false reconciliation, hurt, tears, pain, and heartache. The bulk of which I'm ashamed to say I caused. To her and to myself. What God is giving me today is a realization of how far He has brought me from that place. To say I was a new Christian back then is an excuse, but the truth. I didn't know how to handle that situation and so let others tell me what to do rather than go to the One that I should have. But now everything is different. I can look back with maturity and humility and say, I did do my fair share of causing things to escalate and stay that way. But I can also look back and say a big THANK YOU to my creator for getting me to a much more healthy and mature spot. Where now I can reach out to her, humbly apologize (we're talking tail between the legs apologizing here girls), and ask forgiveness. Which came, to the glory of God. I think we made some angels dance ya'll! Or hopefully at least made God smile. And so today I claim peace over that relationship. And I'm praying that God lets a new one blossom there. One not clouded by the past, but bright and sunny with a newness that only God can bring.

Okay, so let's here it! What's God doing in your life today?

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Marvelous Light by Charlie Hall

another awesome praise song. Lift those hands and run into some Marvelous Light!!

dancing with the stars

Does anyone else watch this? I am hooked. Watched ever since season one. This season though is my favorite! (cept I think Wayne Newton needs to GO) Sabrina Bryan is on fire! She gets those legs moving and, watch out folks! Do you watch? Do you have a favorite? I just love seeing celebs get out of their zone and do something new. It's going to be a great season! Although poor Kim Johnson having to teach Mark Cuban to dance... let's just say the rhythm didn't get him.

What do you think about the show?

Monday, October 1, 2007

mother's day out

Well the boy will be starting Mother's Day Out next week. I am really excited about it. I have been pretty stressed over the past few weeks and have been finding it hard to get some "me" time. So I called and the class has ONE open spot and if we want it, it's ours. So he's signed up and will go every Tuesday from 9:00 - 2:30. And now that it's set and he's in... I have to admit I'm feeling some guilt. False guilt, but it's there none the less. I know to be a good mother I have to take care of myself, and being stressed out most of the day doesn't do any of us any good. So I know that's a plus. I just feel a bit guilty that I'm doing this more for me than for Daniel. He will love it, I have no doubt. I had a choice to either do Music day or Motor Lab day and I didn't even think twice. The boy loves music. With a passion more on fire than mine, the boy LOVES his music. I guess it's just that I haven't ever sent him to something like this. I know we both need it though, so we're excited! And the best part is that his Moms Day Out class will be at the same church that our Wednesday BSF is at. So he'll be in the same place both days. It's worked out great and so I guess instead of allowing false guilt to cloud this fun day, I'm going to put on some music and praise God for working this all out in the span of 4 hours. Man, He is FAST! Pray for deliverance from stress and, BAM - here it is.

What will I do with my time?? All of you that have had kids in Mother's Day Out... what did you do? Clean house? Read? Shop? Gimme some ideas!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

i've been quoted!

Oh my goodness! I've been quoted in the paper! How fun! Last week our newspaper put out a call for submissions on the after life. The article was titled, "What Happens When We Die?". Well I couldn't pass up the opportunity! I sent in a fairly long submission and in it I outlined step by step how to become a Christian. I also gave permission to print all or some of the article so long as what was printed remained in tact. (didn't want any mis-quoting, especially with a subject of this magnitude!) Well I didn't hear back so I assumed that meant they weren't going to use my submission. Durn it. But then today my mom e-mailed me and told me I was quoted! I don't get the paper, we usually buy one on the way home from church, but the boy was sick today so we didn't go to church today. (first Sunday missed in 8 months! EEK!) So I had to wait until Scott got home from work for a paper. Finally, FINALLY, he gets home with the paper and I tear in. My beautifully written, spell checked twice, elegant submission was reduced down to one line. :( At first I was dissapointed but then I read and re-read the line that he'd quoted me on and now I'm pretty happy with the one-liner that he took out of what I sent in. So gals, here's the link:

http://reporternews.com/news/2007/sep/29/the-after-life/

And you can find my quote 3rd from the bottom. :) I do recommend reading the entire article though. It was really neat hearing what others thought about the afterlife. Although (as I'm quite sure you will also) I am now praying for several of the people that wrote in.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

come you fountain

Oh girls do I have a funny story for you! Today was BSF day (more on it when I've got time, it was amazing though!) and Daniels first day to come with me. I was a bit nervous dropping him off at a new place with new people, but he went right in and did great. He had the BEST time. On the way to the car he talked about the game they played where he got to kick the big blue ball across the room, and then they had a Bible story about how God made Jesus be born, and that they got to sing songs. He L-O-V-E-S to sing. Anything. So this of course was the highlight of his stay at BSF today. So we get in the car and he's singing something under his breath. So I ask him what he's singing. Are you ready for this? He says, "come you fountain". Now me being the good Christian mom that I am I tell him that I don't recognize that song and maybe if he sang it a bit I'd know what song it was. So at the top of his lungs he sings

"COME YOU FOUNTAIN, BE A BLESSING...."

and trailed off. I about died laughing. He was singing "Come Thou Fount"! First I thought it was really cool that he was keeping good time, and then really silly the way he was singing it. Oh girls, he is SO sweet! And so all the way home he kept repeating, "come you fountain, be a blessing..." (it's all he could remember). I think it is so sweet that they are teaching the little ones to sing hymns. I don't know many at all, so I'm struggling with them too. :) But there's just something sweet about hearing a 3 year old sing a hymn. Oh he is so stinkin precious!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

what do you expect?

So I started BSF. It's awesome. A little more intimidating than my gung-ho spirit is able to manage, but I'll get there in time. The women are incredibly nice and willing to help with anything. I felt so out of place though. I'm 28. The youngest in the bunch. Most were matured in age, others in their 40's. And here and there I would spot one, maybe two ladies my age. So (please don't take offense) at first I thought I'd entered the wrong building. I showed up in my jean capris, sandals, and ponytail and was met with a gorgeous woman in a business suit, heels, and hose. This was followed by more of the same. So I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I know I must have looked like the lost-sheep-deer-in-the-headlights-dope that I felt like because several of the women rushed over to put and arm around me and lead me to where I needed to go. Thank God for those women. I laugh now, but I was mortified then. I felt like a MAJOR country bumpkin. But God met me. Right in my uncomfortableness. Right in my feeling like I was totally OUT OF MY LEAGUE. Right in my "where is the nearest exit" scaredness, He met me.

We are studying Matthew this year. Yes year. We're taking a year to go through the book chapter by chapter. I think that is really neat. In BSF there are no workbooks or videos. It's simply you and your Bible. Really neat. But I'm off topic. We got to the part where we get to read about Jesus' geneology. I love this part. I love reading all the people God used to make our Jesus. One of my favorite characters in the Bible is Rahab. So when I get to the point where she is mentioned in the blood-line of Christ I always silently throw up a hand and say "whoop whoop!" (okay, sometimes out loud but only if no one is around). And so our question was, are the type of people you would have expected God would have used to create a king? We were then asked to go down the list of women in the line-up and mention on fact about each woman. Sheesh. It became an interesting list. If you've never done it, try it. But that reminded me of the question our leader opening up lecture time with.

What do you expect of God? Why do you expect it?
Hmmm. I started making a list. It included expecting God to, meet my needs, help me raise good Christian young men, give me the patience to handle some issues, so on and so on... Then I realized why the question was asked. I was expecting God to cater to me. To fit into my box. To meet not only what I physically needed, but to also meet those things that I think I need. Very awakening moment. So I asked God to show me throughout this week when my expectations of Him conflict with His expectations of me. And He has proven faithful. There are some definate areas in my life that need some adjustment! When it came down to the why well, I'm not really sure why I expected those things of God. I know without a doubt that God will supply my needs. My REAL needs. But why on earth did I expect the rest? It's something I'm still praying over and asking God to reveal to me.

Are there things that you expect of God that might be unrealistic? Let me toss the question to you know...

What do you expect of God? Why do you expect it? Why do you think God used who He did in Christs' lineage?

I'm really looking forward to your answers! If it's too personal to post, please know I'd never want you to post anything you didn't feel right about. You can simply reflect in your own quiet time. I hope God blesses you the way He did this week. Some lessons are not comfortable to learn, but they just might be the best lessons you'll ever recieve from our Abba Father.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

crock pot recipes

for everyone waiting on recipes from me, I have not forgotten you! I'm working on typing them in for our local church cook-book fundraiser and will pass them on to you as well. :) Just might take a few more days. Thank you everyone for asking for them, ya'll sure do know how to make a girl feel good!!! :)

Friday, September 14, 2007

hold me fast

Okay, I'm still stuck on Psalm 139. I'm reading it ever so slowly each night, taking out what I can and working it over. God has pressed this Psalm on me since Sunday. I have to say I'm really enjoying it. Today, just now, I re-read verse 10 over and over.

"even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast" (NIV)

David is talking about how far away from God he can get, but yet he knows that God will still guide him, no matter how out of "reach" he is. And then says the peculiar (well to me anyway) line of, "your RIGHT HAND will hold me fast" (emphasis mine). I kept reading it over and over and then a though occured to me that I want to run past you. To those who allready get it, please humor me, I'm new to this. :)

Who is at the right hand of God? Jesus Christ. Is this verse a bit of foreshadowing? I believe so! You see, no matter how far away from God we go, if we are His, He's still there. He will always be there to guide us. And I want to suggest that when David says "your right hand" he's talking about Jesus. You see, Jesus came to die on the cross so that we might forever be held fast in God's arms. Jesus paved the way for us to be able to come to God for anything and everything. So when David says God's right hand will hold him fast, he is giving us a little insight into what is going to occur I believe. He knew that he would not only have God's guidance, but that he would also have God's unfailing love that comes through His "right hand", His son. Am I making sense? Some of you that are smarter than I (and yes I know you're out there!) let me know what you think. Am I way off base here? I don't think so, but again I'm new to this. Either way, tonight I'm praising God for not only giving me some fresh understanding and perspective, but also for sending His son to die so that I might be held fast to Him by His right hand.

Father I thank you for pressing in on me tonight. I thank you for giving me a fresh breath into your word. Thank you for sending your son that I might be not only in your way everlasting, but also that through your Son I may be held fast to you, not matter where I go. I love you Lord. You know the cry of my heart tonight and I'm leaving it at your feet. Sweet sweet Father of mine, I love you. Amen.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

a long afternoon

Here I sit. Disappointed. Hurt. Upset. And wondering. Wondering why. I had a job interview yesterday. It was for a job that I'd applied for 18 months ago and was turned down. It had come back open and this time I was determined. After two grueling weeks of pre-interview after pre-interview. It came down to 4. 3 other couples, and us. Yesterday was our final interview. Everything was right on. We'd sailed through all the other interviews. The girls that worked there really liked me and told me they'd told their boss that. Everything was going perfect. We prayed and headed to the interview. It was going great. A few things we'd had questionable looks on, but nothing so big that I didn't think we wouldnt' get the job. I was supposed to know by noon today. Noon rolled around. No call. One-o-clock - no call. Finally I call them at two. Talked to the girl that I really liked the most and unfortunatly for both of us, she had to deliver the bad news. They'd gone with someone else. And she didn't know why. She was upset that it hadn't been me. I was definatly upset that it hadn't been me. But why? Everything had gone so well. Finally this afternoon the boss called and we talked. While I didn't like the answer (same excuse he gave me last time) I told him that I understood his situation and that while I didnt' agree with it, I did respect his decision.

Mad. I was mad. Why put me through all that again, an even more pressured process than before, to give me the same line again? We'd prayed about it. This was it. Or so it felt. Feels. I couldn't even get the words out to Scott, but he knew through my tears. This would have been huge for us. I feel like a fish from whom the baits been snatched. So I went to be alone. I turned on the radio and God met me in the state I was in. Right there, sitting in front of the stereo, feeling as if I couldn't get any lower. The song, "Cry Out To Jesus" came on. That's just like you sweet Abba Father. And I did. I cried. And cried some more. And I still haven't really stopped. I had promised myself I wouldnt' get my hopes up this time, but I did. The more hurdles we passed the better I felt about getting the job. My hopes were soaring. And just like that, not.

But in all of this, one thing is constant. One thing soars, and never comes down. He loves me. He loves me girls. Tonight I'll be resting in Him. I'm not going to worry about the why. I can't change it. I'm not going to worry about not getting the job, I can't change the decision. So I'm not going to bring myself down, or beat myself up. It really didn't have anything to do with me.

He loves me. And girls - THAT is it!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Awaken - Natalie Grant (Curb Records) video for Ignite!

this video goes with my blog below.

wake me up!

Have you ever felt like you just need to be shaken? Woken up from a deep sleep? Jolted into a reality that's REAL?? Today we studied Psalm 139. Powerful words. The ones that hit me this morning were verses 23 & 24. I've always imagined David on a high rock standing with his arms stretched to the Heavens pleading for God to:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."

Emphasis is mine. Can you see it girls? Can you see David, arms reaching as far as he can reach them. Saying to our Lord, "come to me! Search me! Show me my sin!". I wonder if he added, "take my sin! fill me with YOU! Come Lord, come to me! YOU are all I want!". I think I may be projecting the cry of my heart onto David. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a haze and I just need someone to shake me and say WAKE UP! (Of course if it's my hubby he'll add "you're snoring!") But David, he wasn't just asking God to show him his sin, he was asking him to point it out. Ouch. I know I have sins that I'd like to bury and never have to deal with. I think we all know though, sooner or later it comes out and must be dealt with in one way or another. It's almost like David is asking God to perform surgery. Take OUT what's bad and replace it with YOU Lord! Here's a question from my concordance that really got me thinking on the way home from church. How are we to recognize sin, UNLESS God points it out? But here's is the BEST part of these verses. Once we ask God to point out our sins, we are then given the opportunity to repent of them and turn our lives back to God. I think that is what David was doing. He wanted to be in God's "way everlasting" and knew the only way to get there was for God to point out what was tripping him up. God's word tells us that we CAN repent of our sins and we WILL be forgiven. Hallelujah for that Sisters! Let me ask you a deep question - you don't have to tell me your answer, but don't hide it from God - are you stumbling? Do you need to be woken up? Is there something in your way, just out of reach, that keeps you from walking with God the way He's called you to? Can you identify what it is? If not, make Psalm 139:23-24 your prayer. Ask God to search your heart and your thoughts and to reveal your sin to you. When you do, He will answer. It may hurt. It may even shock you. (sometimes even though we're doing "good" things, if it's out of Gods will, it can still be a sin) But above all, it will wake you up. The next step? Repent of the sins God reveals to you, and repent also of the ones ever present before you. Then you will achieve the cry of David's heart. You will be in God's "way everlasting". And girls, that's a good place to be! Natalie Grant is one of my favorite vocalists and her song "Awaken" has become a prayer from myself to my Lord. I've posted it above and I hope it speaks to you as much as it has spoken to me. Awaken me Father!

O sweet sweet Lord. I sometimes feel like I don't even know where to begin. You know my heart is heavy. You know what burdens my thoughts. You know what keeps me restless. And I guess that is where I begin. You Know. You are Ominscient. You know all. Search me Lord. Search my thoughts, search my heart. Find in me my inquities and show them to me. My desire is to become more like Christ and I don't want anything in the way of that. I want to know you. My hearts desire is that I might know you more. I want to be in your way everlasting. Search me Father. Search me. Awaken me.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

gone

Well goodness ladies. I feel like I have been gone forever! So much has happened in such a short time that it just feels like longer I guess. Let's see... David got a tummy virus at school, no fun. I've been running around town doing some stuff that I think is about to pay off. (don't wanna blog about it just yet, but I'll let you know soon!) And we're gearing up for our new semester of Childrens Choir. We start tonight and I'm a bundle of nerves! I love my kiddos and I know they're excited so that makes it easier. I am allready missing 2 of my "stars" which makes it hard, but we'll manage. I'm so excited about our program and I really hope the kids are too. If not, well it's ordered, they'll learn to love it. LOL! Nah, I think they'll be just as excited as I am.

Goodness, it starts tonight! ACK! I can't wait to get in that room and start praising and celebrating the the kiddos I love most! You can bet we'll be lifting Him up high tonight while we learn our opening song. :)

On a different note gals... I've got something brewing over here. God is mysterious at times and it's driving me crazy! He's got something up His sleeve and I'm almost there, I can feel it. But it's just a *bit* out of my reach. I've got something on my heart. Something BIG and I can feel that He's just about to give it to me and I feel like a kid on Christmas morning going, "can I open it NOW??? Can I open it NOW???". It's an exciting, crazy, nervous time to be me right now. Please pray that I will be patient enough for the answer to come in His time. I don't want to spoil the surprise! I know how He likes to keep us on our toes sometimes! And please pray that the situation will unfold not to the cry of my heart, but to His will. (lol, and please pray that His will and my heart match up!)

I love you girls and will let you in on everything very very soon!! Thank you for praying for me!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Hillsong Music - For Who You Are

One more for tonight. I hope these praise songs touch you the way they have me. God is awesome, holy, righteous and ALWAYS faithful to the end! Amen and AMEN! Let's worship Him for who He is, sweet sweet Siestas!

hear our praises

Feeling the spirit pour out... turn up the volume, raise your hands, and praise Got the Almighty. He is awesome girls, just awesome!

LPL BLOG

Oh girls!!! We've GOT to go!

Monday, August 27, 2007

the boy went to school

David started Kindergarten today! He was so cute ya'll. His biggest excitement of the day was that he got to CHOOSE what he wanted for lunch! So sweet! So today he choose to have chicken nuggets, gravy, salad, and watermelon. A boy after my own heart. He also got to wear a "Berna Bears" crown home, which is now in the coveted headboard spot where he puts only his most treasured of things. His teachers name is Mrs. Berna and so she calls her class the Berna Bears. David is ecstatic about it. So here are a few pics from the day. Oh, and ya'll would be proud of me, I only cried a little. :)


This is David sitting at his seat ready to color his Gingerbread Man.



after getting his "Berna Bears" crown...


with his crown and his new kitty, what more could a boy ask for??

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

i've been tagged!



And I love it! I feel so honored, and so humbled! Shonda, one of my new blogging friends tagged me with this award. It was so so sweet of her to think of me. We found each other through the LPM blog and I have been blessed by her ever since. :) If I hadn't gotten this from her, she would have been the top person on my list to send it to! :) If you have not visited her blog, click on her name and take a look. We share a passion in ministry in which she is truly blessed and called for. Thank you Siesta for this fun award. You are too sweet for words!

So in the tradition of this award, I'm now supposed to tag 4 special gals to pass this on to. So here goes. I am tagging Debra, one of the most special ladies God has placed in my life. I can not define our relationship as merely friends because she is a true sister. A sister in Christ and I love her dearly. My second tag goes to Dar, a really sweet woman and good friend of mine from church. She is as good as they come and I love her bunches! My third tag is Shelly, we have not met and I've only just begun to read her blog, but I'm hooked. My final tag goes to Chrissy, another of my close friends from church. She actually just moved to Amarillo and accepted a teaching job there. (Maybe this will get her to update her blog! :) ) Love you Chrissy!

So good luck ladies, and Congrats!

And thank you again Shonda, you are such a sweet sweet gal!

all my bags are packed...

"I'm ready to go.
I'm standin' there outside your door.
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...

So kiss me and smile for me,
let me know you'll wait for me.
Hold me like you'll never let me go....

Cause I'm leaving, in my mini-van,
going on a trip with my friends....

Leavin' in my mini-van,
Don't know when I'll be back again!"


LOL! Don't pretend like you weren't singing with me! I'm headed out tomorrow for our Women of Faith trip! I'm so excited! The conference doesn't start till Friday, but I'm going to spend tomorrow at Moms house helping get maps and papers and all that good stuff ready. She's the leader of our group that's going and has really out done herself making up packets for each car going. She's put together maps to and from every place we'll be stopping, and made nice neat packets with phone #'s addresses, all that good stuff. She's done an AWESOME job! So after we spend the night at their house, we'll be on our way Friday morning after picking up my Sistahs, and stopping for our Javalanches! (frozen coffee drink, I like to call it manna from Heaven) :) I'm so stinkin excited! Last year my Sistahs and I did not sleep. No I mean REALLY we didn't sleep. We stayed up all night talking and bonding and it was one of the best experiences of my life! This year the new youth ministers wife is going to stay in our room. We've allready warned her! :) I just can NOT wait. I'm driving this year and have named our van the "silly socks, Jesus praisin', jave drinking, Sistah van!" Dallas better watch out! We're bringing along a caravan of partying, praisin, angels and we won't stop till we've praised God's silly socks off! :) Whoo hoooo!!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

moving

Please keep my friend Debra in your prayers today. They are moving to Houston and are seeking God's plan for the next step in their lives. If you haven't ever been to her blog, please click here , you will be blessed.

Dear Lord, thank you for bringing this family into our lives. The passion and heart they have to follow Your will, is not easily matched. Please protect them as the move to Houston, and guide them down the road you have for them. And please give them a way to keep in touch with all of us who love them. You are good, Lord, and I love you. Amen

Sunday, August 19, 2007

the legacy

Grey hair ya'll. I found grey hairs. I have found a few before and had almost as close a meltdown. I colored my hair and put it behind me like a bad dream. Sigh. If only I were that lucky. My sweet Mother pointed out a few weeks ago that she had seen several white (WHITE!!!) hairs on my head. Again, I blew it off. I mean I hadn't actually SEEN them. No reason to think they're there. Then it happened. I was drying my hair after my shower a few nights ago when the ugly little things decided to pop up and say hello. White ya'll. Not grey, not silver, not anything other than white white WHITE hairs on top of my brunette head. Sticking out like a sore thumb on my otherwise dark brown locks. And yes, sadly, there were more than I could count on both my shaky hands. I wanted to grab the nearest baseball cap, but since we didn't have any a headband had to do. I ran out in my sweats, hollering something about NEEDING to go to the store and almost sprinted my way to Wal-Mart. I ducked in and out of aisles, hoping no one I knew would notice me, grabbed a light brown box of Nice-N-Easy and headed for the check-out. I was back home and in the bathroom faster than hubby could even ask what was going on. One hour later I was a full-on brunette again. I had to e-mail my mom to tell her what had occured. I mean afterall, I'd just barley missed a hair tragedy. She laughed and told me that she and my grandmother had also colored their hair this week and what did that tell me? I "snootily" replied, it tells me that you've left me with a heritage of GREY hair!!

Sigh. Praise God for hair color ya'll. :)

Friday, August 17, 2007

anyone going?

To the Women of Faith conference next weekend in Dallas? We have a group of 26 ladies from our church that will be caravaning up there next Friday morning. I'm so so excited! This is my "big" vacation of the year, and I look forward to it ALL year! This year I'm driving and will have my closest friends riding with me. :) We're going to wear silly socks and praise Jesus all the way to Dallas! And then we'll be spending the next 48 hours lifting Him up and spending time with the gals. I can't wait!!!!

Here are some pics from last years conference:


My "Sistahs" and I - I'm the one on standing, second from the right.


Natalie Grant - oh goodness... what an awesome performance!!!
This is also where she formally annouced she was pregnant with twins!


Robin McGraw spoke and then, Surprise! Out came Dr. Phil to lead her off stage. So cute!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

boil your water

That's what they are telling us tonight and now the town is in a frenzy for bottled water. Something about there not being enough chlorine in our water and now there is a possibility of micro-organisms in our water system. On the news tonight they showed people loading up carts FULL of bottled water because they have said they think this could last for days, maybe weeks. Ick! And do you know that neither myself or my husband thought to go get bottled water? What were we thinking? We were thinking we'd just boil what we needed. We did decide however that it would be a much safer precaution to go ahead and get bottled water. The question was, where could we find some? All 3 news stations said the stores were sold out. So we said a short prayer and picked up the phone. The first store we called didn't have any. Second store... they had JUST gotten some in off a truck that probably drove several hours to get it here and we'd need to come right then if we would even have a shot at one case. So into the car went Scott and right now, at 10:38 p.m. he's at Wal-Mart grabbing up the last 2 cases of bottled water. How crazy. Of course I am planning on patting him on the back when he gets home for a job well done! :) But it's got me thinking. We've got to have water to live, why hadn't I thought of a single back-up plan for situations like this? Contaminated water is just something I never thought of.

Contaminated life is something many of us never think of either. How many are out there living with contaminated lives. Full of things we shouldn't see, shouldn't read, shouldn't eat, shouldn't drink.... the list could go on. The world is full of it's own contaminating micro-organisms that can do far more damage to our eternal lives than maybe we ever realized. What do we do to clean it up? How do we escape from all the contaminants that fill our daily lives? For Christians the answer is Jesus. We're simply not contaminated anymore. Washed clean by the shed blood of Jesus. Praise His name. But what about those who don't know Him? What about those who wear the contaminants like garments? When do they realize there is another option? When do they see the fresh spring one hill over from the dirty mud-hole? They see it when we show it, Sisters. I wouldn't have realized there was another water option had I not seen people stockpiling their shopping carts with bottled water and saying to my husband, "now they've got something we need!". Do people say that about my Jesus? Do they see me and say, "now she's got something we need". Oh Father how I hope they do! I hope they see that You are the fresh water, bottled and ready to be set free in their lives. I want them to see the well, springing up in me! Let them seek out the clean water, Lord, and let them reach up and take hold of the only uncontaminated being to ever walk this earth.

Inspiration from a "boil you water" alert... only by His grace.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

if you think about it...

***** Update*****
Judy is going to be released from the hospital tomorrow and will be on bedrest for another week . The Dr. thinks they were able to get rid of the clot, but she will still need to be on blood thinning medication for at least another year to avoid it clotting again. Thanks everyone for all the prayers. You are all so special to me. Thank you for reaching out in prayer for my mother in law and our family.


Please pray for my mother in law, Judy. She was taken to the hospital today and they found a blood clot in her leg. They're admitting her and will run more tests on it to see how big and all that tomorrow. She's had several medical issues this year and it's been a hard year on her. Please if you remember, say a prayer for her.

Thanks Sisters, Sistahs, and Siestas. You are all so special to me.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

please don't miss this

Something everyone should see. The awesome power of God's healing touch. Please click here and witness an awesome unspeakable miracle of God.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

God shines

Well Scott didn't have today off, won't have a day off this week, but you know what? I'm okay with it. God is so awesome. I had to just sit and clap for a while, even cheered. Scott got home at lunch time today and we have spent the better part of the afternoon and evening having family time. What a blessing. I love my man and I love my boys and I can't think of anything better than spending the last 4 hours in the pool playing with my family. That's exactly what we just did. And now we're going to order pizza and veg out while watching Chicken Little.

Sweet Lord can it get any better? I'm blessed beyond anything I've ever deserved.

Blessed. Blessed. Blessed.

Girls I just need to shout out how much I love Him.
WHOOO!! I LOVE HIM!

God is awesome. I'll post pics of our pool time later. I'm off to spend some more time with my men!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

work

I'm tired of work. Not mine, but hubbies. He has been working 13.5 hour shifts every day for two weeks now. We only see him about 2 hours each day. And just when we thought he was out of those hours for a little bit, one of his co-workers got into some trouble and won't be there for a few weeks. Sigh. So again, he's having to cover extra shifts. It makes for a good pay-check, but a lonely house. The boys miss him, bawled today when he had to go in 3 hours early. Just makes things really hard when he's gone so much. But I know that he's working hard for us and it's giving me a new look on my job here at home. I'm not so grumbly (if that's a word) about cleaning the house or putting away dishes, or even ironing his work shirts. I know that I am blessed to get to stay home with my boys and spend time watching them grow. And I also know the only reason I'm blessed to do that, is because my husband is willing to work so hard. I appreciate so much the sacrifices he makes. I just wish sometimes the it didn't mean sacrificing so much time with him when things get tough at work. His promotion is with reach, will be happening this month. And he knows that all the hard work and extra hours are going to be worth it when he does get promoted. I'm so proud of him! He had to take a test, 100 questions half multiple choice, half essay. In order to even be considered for a promotion you can only miss 10 out of the 100 questions, and that includes the essay part. He did great! He only missed 5 questions! So now they're pushing him through his final book (and I do mean PUSHING!) so that he can be promoted by the end of the month. It's really awesome to see him working so hard towards this goal. So yes, he puts in long hours and yes we don't see him much these days, but I know in the end God will bless us for this time of sacrifice. And God is good to us while Scott is away. In fact today the boys I will be making some banana bread. One loaf for us, one for Nana, and one for the people Scott works with. They're all having to sacrifice time with family right now due to the 2 managers that are gone (one fired, one dealing with personal stuff), and so we want to minister to them in whatever way we can. And though he won't say it, it also makes Scott feel good to have something from home at work with him. (to be honest he loves the compliments on what a great cook his wife is, and how nice it was of him to bring them something. but who doesn't right?) So I'm going to go mash some "naners" with my boys and pray that Scott will still have tomorrow off. He needs it, and so do we. :)

Thanks girls for listening to me whine. Each and every one of you that read this and pray for our family encourages me more than you know. These past few days (and more to come) while being surrounded by my boys, it's nice to know that I can come here and have a safe place to "talk" and ask for prayer. You are all amazing women, and I'm blessed to call you friends.