That's how I feel this week. Trapped. You know when you're kids and you play London Bridge and you trap someone between your arms when the bridge comes down? I used to hate that. I hated feeling trapped. I always wanted to be the one that snuck by, skated through, just before the bridge came down. Oh how I hated getting stuck. I still can't bring myself to play the game with my boys. I can't stand being stuck. No where to go. Arms pinned. Can't move. It still gets to me. But right now, I'm stuck. The bridge fell on me, and I can't move. I have something weighing heavy on me. So heavy it leaves me tired and dragging each day. I feel it when I wake, when I sleep (IF I sleep)... I feel it all the time. I know satan is upon me. Attacking my every step. Coming down on my so hard at times it's hard to breath. I spent a good 20 minutes bawling in the car the other morning because I just didn't know what else to do. Why am I sharing this? I have no idea. Probably not a wise choice. I just feel a huge urge to reach out. I need some prayer. I mean, serious prayer. Knees to the floor kind of prayer. I know I'm not one to tell you how to pray. I just know when I have a sister who's down like this, my knees hit the floor. So that's what I'm asking for. Deep prayer to pull me out of this state that I'm in. I can't stand feeling the way I feel. I just wanna break out of the arms that are pinning me down. No amount of struggling works. These arms are sealed tight. I keep begging God to make it easier. Make my choice easier Lord! But I know this is something He doesn't want to be easy. It's hard on purpose. And I think I dislike that even more. Why do I have to go through this? I feel like I might burst. I want out. I want out from under this pressure. Free from this weight. Break me free Daddy! Get me out. I know I can't take much more. But I also know I'm not done until you say. Give me strength Lord. Strength to get to my feet and fight. To get away from what's trapping me. I know Your will is perfect. Give me strength to understand that. Give me peace when I rest. Quiet my mind and calm my nerves. Let me rest Father, and wake up ready to fight. I love you Lord. Whatever You have for me, I will do it for You.