Monday, September 24, 2007

what do you expect?

So I started BSF. It's awesome. A little more intimidating than my gung-ho spirit is able to manage, but I'll get there in time. The women are incredibly nice and willing to help with anything. I felt so out of place though. I'm 28. The youngest in the bunch. Most were matured in age, others in their 40's. And here and there I would spot one, maybe two ladies my age. So (please don't take offense) at first I thought I'd entered the wrong building. I showed up in my jean capris, sandals, and ponytail and was met with a gorgeous woman in a business suit, heels, and hose. This was followed by more of the same. So I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I know I must have looked like the lost-sheep-deer-in-the-headlights-dope that I felt like because several of the women rushed over to put and arm around me and lead me to where I needed to go. Thank God for those women. I laugh now, but I was mortified then. I felt like a MAJOR country bumpkin. But God met me. Right in my uncomfortableness. Right in my feeling like I was totally OUT OF MY LEAGUE. Right in my "where is the nearest exit" scaredness, He met me.

We are studying Matthew this year. Yes year. We're taking a year to go through the book chapter by chapter. I think that is really neat. In BSF there are no workbooks or videos. It's simply you and your Bible. Really neat. But I'm off topic. We got to the part where we get to read about Jesus' geneology. I love this part. I love reading all the people God used to make our Jesus. One of my favorite characters in the Bible is Rahab. So when I get to the point where she is mentioned in the blood-line of Christ I always silently throw up a hand and say "whoop whoop!" (okay, sometimes out loud but only if no one is around). And so our question was, are the type of people you would have expected God would have used to create a king? We were then asked to go down the list of women in the line-up and mention on fact about each woman. Sheesh. It became an interesting list. If you've never done it, try it. But that reminded me of the question our leader opening up lecture time with.

What do you expect of God? Why do you expect it?
Hmmm. I started making a list. It included expecting God to, meet my needs, help me raise good Christian young men, give me the patience to handle some issues, so on and so on... Then I realized why the question was asked. I was expecting God to cater to me. To fit into my box. To meet not only what I physically needed, but to also meet those things that I think I need. Very awakening moment. So I asked God to show me throughout this week when my expectations of Him conflict with His expectations of me. And He has proven faithful. There are some definate areas in my life that need some adjustment! When it came down to the why well, I'm not really sure why I expected those things of God. I know without a doubt that God will supply my needs. My REAL needs. But why on earth did I expect the rest? It's something I'm still praying over and asking God to reveal to me.

Are there things that you expect of God that might be unrealistic? Let me toss the question to you know...

What do you expect of God? Why do you expect it? Why do you think God used who He did in Christs' lineage?

I'm really looking forward to your answers! If it's too personal to post, please know I'd never want you to post anything you didn't feel right about. You can simply reflect in your own quiet time. I hope God blesses you the way He did this week. Some lessons are not comfortable to learn, but they just might be the best lessons you'll ever recieve from our Abba Father.


judy works said...

I'm not sure what answer to give. In small group, we learned "Give us our daily bread" - not really meaning bread as we have enough for weeks (most people do) - but it means "give me my daily ration" - just what I need for today - just now - at this minute. That is my prayer - Give me Lord what I need right now. One more interesting thing was what Allison Sims said in small group - "God babied me today - met me emotionally where I needed Him." So true - I need Him emotionally so very much. Jen, I don't think I answered your question - but wanted to tell you what was on my heart. Blessings dear one - love your blog - Isn't God good?!!!

Shonda said...

I love those kinds of Bible studies! Where just one question really pierces my thoughts and causes me to ponder. Oh He is so good! I would make a similar list, but then I realized after I read the rest of your post that we are created to worship HIM! Let's worship Him shall we!

I look at my children. They dont worry where their next meal will come from. If they need a hug, they come get it or I give it to them before they need it. God is our Father and he knows what we have need of. Let's show Him our trust by just giving Him our praise and worship!

Blessings in Christ--