Sunday, January 18, 2009

stirring a heavy heart

I am full of joy today. But my heart is also heavy. It's an unexplainable feeling. I can't pinpoint why I feel this way, or when it started. I can't make heads or tails of what's happening in my heart. I feel weighed down today. But I'm also full of joy. How can I feel both at once? I feel a joy for the amazing church family I have and how happy I am to see their smiling faces. I'm weighed down with a love for children I've never met. Does that make any sense at all? There is no doubt in me that God wants me to be a children's minister. No reservations, no doubts. But there is an unyielding weight. I am deeply burdened for these kids. What kids? I have no idea. I see their faces in my mind. I picture them all the time. Their smiles. Their tears. I want to reach out to them. Tell them about Jesus and his love for them. I want to hug them and let them know that even though the world around them thinks they'll never have a chance, God will always believe in them and they can do anything through Him. It's not time yet. I get that. But the more deeply I understand what it is that God wants from me, the more deeply I am burdened with this need to bring Jesus to them. I want them to see themselves through His eyes. To know they ARE loved. To know the ARE worth something. To know they ARE deeply cared for. To know they ARE precious. And yes, to know they ARE princes and princesses. These kids get to me. Straight to my heart. When I meet them face to face... wow. What a day of praise that will be. Until then I wait. Wait for God. Wait for that still small voice to say, "go". The wait is difficult. The prize though, is worth whatever I have to endure to get there. Who are you? When I meet you I'll know. Until then, I pray that God watches over you and that even now he begins to stir your heart like He is stirring mine.

Anyone else out there being stirred up?