Saturday, January 3, 2009

confessions from an adict

This post has been in my head for several days. I meant to post it on the first, but honestly... I was a bit embarassed to post this. For years I've been okay with my weight. I've not really cared that I'm "large" in size. (okay, maybe extra large but whatever) But over several weeks God's been impressing health on me. I need to be healthy. And so, to be healthy I need to lose weight. I've tried several times to do so, but everytime I just give in. I guess because I've been happy where I was. I'm not happy where I am right now. I simply feel fat. Please know, this is not an attempt for people to say "oh, you're not fat" or to feel sorry for me. This is simply me stating the truth. Lol, my truth. I guess I'm feeling the weight of my heaviness and I'm ready to be free of it. So where to start right? I know, eat healthy and excersize. I think that's easier said than done. But, this time around I'm adding a monumental tool to the battle. Prayer. I have been praying about how to do this right, how to keep the weight off, how to maintain a healthy balance. God's first answer... give up sodas. Now, if you know me, you know this is difficult for me. I drink soda like I breathe. And there of course lies the problem. And the addiction. I've tried in the past to give up caffiene but the "de-tox" was aweful. I had constant headaches, my body shook, I couldn't focus, I felt like I was a total mess. After two weeks I gave in and vowed to never try that again. This time has been different. God has really freed me from most of the past effects. It's been 5 days since I've had a coke and I'm not feeling shaky and havne't gotten headaches. I did have a really rough third day, the cravings were relentless. But I didn't give in, and days 4 and 5 have been amazing. I'm praising God for the power I feel over this caffiene addiction. I feel like I can actually do this. Like whatever God gives me during this trial, I can manage. The hardest thing for me to give up in order to lose weight in my mind, was coke. Through prayer and submission, God has granted me a peaceful break from caffiene. This journey is going to be a difficult ride for me. But I'm so encouraged and empowered knowing that God will be there with me holding my hand and strengthening my resolve. And my addictions? Gone. With God's help, nothing will stand in my way! If you'd like to come on this journey with me, (this is where it gets scary!) I'll be posting about this every Monday. And... it will include scale photos. Yes, oh yes. I truly believe that accountability goes a long way when struggling to overcome, and so I will be using my blog as my accountability. Knowing you are all reading this each Monday will keep me focused on watching that scale go down, down, DOWN! So come along with me readers. Monday will be the first official post. Join me on the journey, friends!


judy works said...

Jen - I have been addicted to food and now am getting free with God's help. I started February 2007, but still a work in progress. I will be watching your blog and praying for you as well as myself on our journey. Blessings to you dear friend - you are an inspiration to me.