Sunday, July 29, 2007

saying goodbye

I'm beating myself up. And I was a bit miffed at God for just a slight moment today. I didn't realize today was the last Sunday. I was ready to say something amazing on this last day, and low and behold, it snuck up on me. I didn't even realize it. I'm mad at myself. I didn't have anything wonderful to say, nothing poetic came from my mouth. I just had this amazingly shocked look on my face and stumbled over some silly line that I can't even remember now. And then sadness came in. I did know it was coming today, I thought I had another week. I came home and talked to God for a bit and asked Him what in the world happened? I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Why hadn't He made me realize today was the last day? Why hadn't he prepared my heart for it?

The answer?

"You don't need to say goodbye yet dear one, it's not your turn"

That's when I realized I got that dorky-shock-weird look on my face because God was stopping me from making a mistake. It's not time to say goodbye to my friend because we will see each other again. I know we will keep in touch and I know God will keep us in each others lives. Our friendship, though new, will keep going and growing (Praise Him!). And even though it's somewhat new, and we're still getting to know each other, I love that girl like a true sister. So no, today was not the day we would say goodbye to each other. I still wonder if she thinks I'm weird sometimes, (let's be real, I AM weird sometimes!) but I see in her something I long to have myself. A true passion for Jesus Christ. With out a doubt, God put us in each others lives for a specific reason. I am so proud of their family for what they are doing. Seeking Gods will is not always a comfortable place to be in, but they have jumped out of the boat and are standing with both feet in the stormy sea. They won't sink. Their eyes are on the Lord and glory to His name, they won't look away. It's going to be an awesome sight to see what God has in store for them. I'm praying for you girl, and I love love love you!

I know it's cliche' but I gotta say it. :) It's not goodbye, God's told me it's 'see you later'.


Debra said...

i really do not like good byes so that is good with me...